Marriage experts confirm In-laws as intruders, see why

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In-laws, their interference with a couple’s marriage has been the subject of many sad stories.We hear of of couples who still compare everything their spouse do with the way mother used to do it. Or of couples whose marriage is essentially run by one of the spouses’ parents who make all the important decisions. As before, the real issues are not the in-laws who don’t seem to be willing to leave us alone, but character issues in one or both of the spouses. Below are some of the reasons.

1). Incomplete leaving
Some couples experience that the real allegiance of their spouse is not with them but with their parents and/or siblings. For her, family (of origin) comes first and he(husband) gets what is left over.For such marriage to work, the spouse needs to loosen her ties with the family of origin and forge new ones with the new family she is creating through marriage.

2). Financial dependency
Some couples have gotten used to receiving financial support from one of the spouse’s parents. They have supported them to get started, bailed them out in a financially troublesome situation, and after a while this became a habit. They have not learned to say no to wishes that they cannot afford or are just plain irresponsible and thus constantly in trouble. To become mature adults, they have to learn financial responsibility, that is live within their means, being content with what they can afford, and paying for their own failures.

3). Codependency
Some couples are "just born" to take care of their parents. Early in life they felt responsible for their parents and never learned to set proper boundaries between them and their sometimes irresponsible parents.Infact, some of the parent’s needs are more imagined than real, and some of their real needs simply cannot be met by us. A couple needs to decide together, how much they can and want to give, such that they can love and appreciate the parent instead of growing resentful.

We hope you found this article valuable and hope it gave you some good idea on how to deal with the specified intruder in your marriage. Got any views to share? Let us know in the comments box below.

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Disclaimer: Opinions expressed in comments are those of the comment writers alone and does not reflect or represent Toprhythm's view.

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