According to expert, children are considered as intruders in marriages

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Children are inbuilt intruders in a marriage. They need much attention, so much help and assistance, so often. Immature parents often fail to see that children, despite all their needs, also need boundaries, and end up putting parenting above their marriage. As a result, their marriage will be in deep trouble soon. Again, the real cause has little to do with the children themselves but with character issues of the spouses.Here are a few examples and possible solutions.

1). Misperceptions about parenting
Right now, we live in a “childocentric” culture, which gives some parents the impression that caring for their children is all that counts. Some parents rather break up with their spouses than taking time and energy away from their children for the benefit of the relationship. They need to realize that this is a serious misperception and adjust their values appropriately.

2). Children appear easier to deal with
Sometimes a parent has the impression that dealing with children is easier than dealing with a spouse. He feels that the kids listen to what he says while his spouse doesn’t. In such cases, each partner must know that his opinions are respected and listened to, without requiring his spouse to agree to them. Both spouses must help each other feeling both love and freedom.

3). Overidentifying with children
Some parents feel totally responsible for their children’s lives and have a hard time letting go. They feel that their spouse, being an adult, can handle the neglect and that they must devote every minute to their children. If they don’t, they feel guilty of being a mother who abandons her children. Parents need to learn to allow age-appropriate space between them and their children and to give them the chance to become separate individuals. This will not only help the children to grow into responsible adults but also allow the couple to become closer.


We hope you found this article valuable and hope it gave you some good idea on how to deal with the specified intruder in marriage. Got any views to share? Let us know in the comments box below.

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