How healthy Couples identify causes of Affairs

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Affairs are probably the most hurtful intruder for a marriage and have led to the death of many a struggling relationship. What should a couple do if the mutual trust has been broken by an affair.Should she kick him out of the house for that? Should he divorce his sinful wife? An affair, like any other intruder, is only a symptom of deeper, probably quite severe problems in the marriage. However, if your spouse is truly repentant, willing to give up the affair, and desires to do everything to repair the broken trust, you should be compassionate and forgiving and begin to work together on the real problems that have led to this situation. Below are some of the causes of affairs:

1). Emptiness in the marriage
Some spouses have lost the connection to their partner, desperately seek for someone to connect to, and fall for the first person that seems to offer what they miss in their marriage.

2). Narcissistic tendencies
Some people consider themselves as so perfect that they expect to be constantly admired and looked up to. They resent being reminded of their imperfection and search for somebody else to stroke their ego.

3). Victim-Perpetrator issues
In some marriages one spouse takes on the role of the helpless victim and views her partner as the predatory perpetrator. The victim will then seek out a rescuer-type to protect her from her evil spouse and develop closer ties to him than to her spouse. However, when the rescuer begins to show signs of flaws she will view him as perpetrator as well and the circle continues.

4). The only way to say " no"
Overly compliant people find themselves unable to set any limits in the marriage and feel overwhelmed by the expectations of their spouse. The affair becomes the only way to say no.

The above list of intruders is by no means complete. There are others, such as hobbies, television, social media, sports, and other addictions. They all need to be evaluated in a similar way to find out what their effect on the marriage is and what may be the real problem behind them.
This will help finding a compromise that both partners can live with and that addresses the real problem in a way that the marriage bond is strengthened again.

We hope you found this article valuable and hope it gave you some good idea on how to deal with the specified intruder in marriage. Got any views to share? Let us know in the comments box below.

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