How healthy couples handle individual desire and relationship needs

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Sometimes in a relationship, one partner has desires that conflict with the needs of the relationship itself. You may want to go back to school to get a higher degree and improve your career chances, but the family may need the time and money. Maybe a new job opportunity may open up but accepting it would require your family to relocate and create a lot of disruption. Still, you may want to look for a less strenuous job but that would reduce the family income.So what should we do? Here are some practical hints for dealing with desires that conflict with the needs of the relationship.

1). Remember that marriage comes first
Giving into the relationship is more important than your individual desires.Remember, marriage means giving up some of your individual rights for the sake of the relationship.

2). Pray for guidance
In areas where it is difficult to make a decision, remember that God gives wisdom generously to those who ask Him.

3). Be excited about what your spouse wants
 Even if initially you cannot understand at all why he wants this, make sure that you listen carefully with an open heart, instead of becoming angry about it. Because the two of you are “one”, giving in to the needs of the other will create growth from which you will benefit as well.

4). Make long-term plans for individual things that go at the expense of the relationship
This way you can plan together how to sacrifice for meeting the individual need instead of having to make hurried, unreflected decisions. Immediate requests that have to be dealt with now or never feel more like demands and should be avoided as much as possible. In most cases, opportunities that force us to make immediate decisions with major consequences appear much better than they really are and often have a hidden catch that we don’t see right now.

We hope you found this article valuable and hope it gave you great idea on how to deal with  internal causes of conflitcs in marriage. Got any views to share? Let us know in the comments box below.

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