How to improve your marriage
Your marriage can get better. Here are the three steps you can begin doing today to put romance into your marriage.
Step 1 give more appreciation
Every human needs to hear words such as, " I appreciate the way you work hard to care for our kids. And thanks for helping my mother." if we receive no appreciation, we feel hurt. My advice is, "give much appreciation to your partner, no matter how little you received. In private and public, look for an opportunities to praise him/her." People ask, instead of trying to say appreciative words, shouldn't I wait until I naturally feel like saying them? No, don't wait. Your selfish nature will always tell you," you don't receive much appreciation_so don't give much." God tells you, give appreciation; never let your selfish nature stop you.
To give appreciation is one way to show love, and love is not easy. We must work at love. We must not relax. If you show appreciation to your partner, he/she will improve.
For example, if you are careful to tell your spouse that you appreciate the interest he or she shows in the children, he or she will improve and so even more interest in them. Criticism will never help to improve but, appreciation will. A reporter asked a thousand teachers, how could your headmaster make you try harder to be a better teacher? Most teacher replied, I would try harder if he/ she would just begin to appreciate my efforts. Yes, begin today to give more appreciation to your spouse. And to your children. You will be surprised how your marriage (and your kids) become so much better.
Step 2 do kind things
The second way you can improve your marriage is: do kind things. Here are some valuable examples of kind things you can do today.
- Tell your spouse, I love you. And then give a specific reason. His/her face will brighten as you mention something about him/her that delights you.
- Take time to sit and talk with your spouse. Let him or her know your thoughts and your feelings.
- Bring him or her a gift. Let your spouse know that, this gift is just because I love you.
- Be careful how you speak to your spouse when you are angry.
- Always help each other at home. When your children see how nicely you treat each other, they will think, we are safe because our home is filled with love.
- Tell your spouse's parents how much you appreciate their son/daughter.
- Every day, pray with your spouse as well as your children.
- When your spouse does something kind, thank him or her. Two of the most loving words are, " thank you."
- Look for his/her good qualities, and mention them often.
- Whenever your spouse comes back from work, greet him or her with a huge and cheerful words.
Perhaps you are thinking, those ideas don't fit my culture. No problem. Think of your ideas. Each day ask yourself, what kind actions can I do for my spouse today? Kindness takes effort. It takes effort to think of ideas, and effort to do them. Yes, love is work. But do it! as you make a real effort to do kind actions, amazing joy will enter your marriage.
Step 3 complain less
A good way to improve your marriage; start trying to complain less. Yes, the next time you are tempted to complain, stop and ask yourself, do I really need to complain about this? Instead of complaining, is there a better way? Say more positive comments and fewer negative ones. Most times, things are just too small to complain about. Afterall, God says, if you always criticize each other, watch out, you will destroy your loving relationship.(Gal.5v15).