How healthy couples deal with conflicting desires

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One of the most common conflicts in a relationship arises from the fact that we have different desires that cannot be met at the same time. We all have experienced situations like; One person likes to watch adventure movies, the other prefers comedies, one likes to spend money on improving the house, the other wants to save the money for larger investments in the future. In reality, conflicting desires can be negotiated easily if both partners develop a pattern of give and take. Here are a few principles that can help making sure that conflicting desires do not lead to conflicts in the relationship.

1). Check the motives for your preferences
Some of the things that seem to be extremely important to you may not be your true desires_ seeing them met will not give you real fulfillment, but only some temporary satisfaction, which soon will give room to new things that you “must” have or do.

2). Empathize with your spouse’s desires and understand their importance
Your spouse’s desires, as strange as they may appear to you at times, are just as real to him or her as your desires are to you. Accept them as real and good_ never devalue what your spouse wants.

3). Meet your spouse’s desires before you meet your own
This is the best advice for dealing with conflicting desires.If we are trying to make sure that our mate gets what she desires first, arguments over who gets his own way will soon cease to exist.

4). Expand your horizon and grow
When you give in to the desires of your spouse, you may find out that you actually like some of the things she likes. You just didn’t like them before because you never tried.

We hope you found this article valuable and hope it gave you great idea on how to deal with  internal causes of conflitcs in marriage. Got any views to share? Let us know in the comments box below.

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